"Waiting" A poem about waiting for baby to be born

Waiting

Dear Baby, here beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing seemed just right.

But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans
Of God.

For now I know
You will not come
Until the One who holds eternity
Rustles your soft cocoon
And Whispers in tones that I will not hear,
“It’s time, precious gift.”

“Now it’s time.”
Robin Jones Gunn

As I try to hold off my impatience, I know that you will be here when the time is right.  They say you are 8 days late but how can one be late when they aren't ready? I think it is us that are early. I want to hold you and love you so very much but I will do that on your terms, for you know the right time. I continue to hold the doctors off from inducing me. I do not want chemicals running through our veins. You know when you are supposed to make your way into this world. You will do it on your perfect time. I will do my very best to be patient and to keep the doctors from determining your fate. For I know that no one is qualified to make that decision. Nature knows. I will trust in nature, you, and my body to be able to do what is right. 

A Baby's Conversation with God

This poem was given to me after the birth of my first child. As I'm preparing for the birth of my third child, any day now, I was reminded of it. I am not sure of the author but I did not write it.While it's true I'm not the most religious person in the world, I am very spiritual. This still means very much to me and makes me tear up every time I read it.

"A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'"

(Author unknown)

A Little Bit Of Laughter

A Meme I made.....

My Experience With Doctors and Labor

As I approach my 39th week of pregnancy I can't help but look back and wish I'd done things differently. I would have gone with a midwife instead of a doctor first of all. I would have set up a home birth instead of a hospital birth. I'm not sure though that I could have done those things. I have high blood pressure (not pregnancy induced) and have been told the entire time that I'm high risk. The docs have kept my blood pressure at levels that most "high risk" women would only dream about. It's been very well regulated and hasn't gone above what it normally runs without pregnancy. Still, the docs decided that I must be induced or all hell will break loose and I will give birth to the spawn of satan, die, or be pregnant for the rest of my life (or something along those lines). In other words, it's become complete chaos and drama. Two things that I'm pretty sure are not beneficial to a pregnant woman with high blood pressure. One thing I should say is that this is my third pregnancy. Like most moms, I look back and think about the things that the doctors talked me into (or out of) doing that I know weren't the right choices. I've had two children from induction. Granted with those pregnancies, my blood pressure was not being regulated and probably did need the induction, fine. I get that. This time though, I just know everything is ok. I can't explain that and I really don't feel that I should have to. I think that the medical system has forgotten who works for whom. I am not their employee or their child. I do not need them to tell me what I can and can not do. I've got this all under control thank you very much! I wonder when God and nature lost out to the medical profession. I wonder when did it become more natural to have a scheduled birth than to allow nature to take it's course? When did women stop believing in themselves and their bodies to do what is normal and natural? And one thing I just can't figure out is why do so many women look at me like I have two heads when I voice this opinion and concern. I can't figure out why a woman would volunteer to take nature out of the birthing process. I've had people tell me "It's just a day, no big deal". Wow! Really? Is that what giving birth to a child has become? No big deal? Just another day? I personally want no part in that mentality. For me it's a beautiful thing. You are giving life, bringing your child into the world and nurturing it. The feeling of intense love and nurturing usually follows labor (due to an influx of oxytocin). It's the most natural high a woman can ever experience. I suppose with the high rate of scheduled births, women are being robbed of this feeling. They are not given the opportunity to produce these chemicals that are so necessary in the mother/child bond.  This is probably why women look at me with disgust when I make such a big deal out of how I want to labor my child. They don't get it, because they were never allowed to have it. I'm totally disgusted with the medical field and how I've been made to feel. I've had doctors tell me what I will and will not do (literally tell me these things). I had one say to me "Well you better hope you go into labor because you're going to be induced at 39 weeks". They say things to you making you believe that you no longer have control or power over your body or what happens to it. They have forgotten their place. They no longer trust the natural course and believe they know everything. Still it's clear they don't. In the United States, we rank second in infant and maternal mortality rates than any other developed country. We also have the highest rate of scheduled births. Coincidence?  I don't believe it is. Now I'm not saying that all scheduled births are BS. I understand that there are absolutely reasons to have a c-section or be induced. I get that totally. Still I don't believe that half or more of births in the US need this kind of intervention. I think that women need to stand up for their rights and tell the doctors where to go. I don't want to see another woman forced into a birth practice that she is uncomfortable with. One that she knows, in her heart, is not right. I'm planning on fighting to be one of those women.

Here is a funny skit from Monty Python. The scary thing is, this is how I feel the doctors are treating me. Reality turned comedy.